Some ships sink as soon as it gets turbulent. Some thrive, and reveal their strengths especially during stormy seasons. A number of these ships dread to even set sail. Enough of ships. Now, about us. Depending on our personalities, some persons find it easy to start relationSHIPS; friendship, dating, marriage, business partnerships, mentoring, almost any kind of relationship excluding family, since genetics and the miracle of adoption won’t permit one to. Nevertheless, it takes more than an outgoing, bubbly personality to make a relationship blossom. Beyond being charismatic, permit me to share with you two ideologies I strongly suggest the parties involved in the relationships should have in common.
Before I drop what is left of my two cents, let me share something about myself. I used to think it was somewhat difficult to make friends, until I became a better Christian. (I’m a huge pile of work in progress.) With God’s help, I began to go on evangelism dates frequently. I learnt to start conversations with almost every kind of individual in a bid to lead them to Christ, if they weren’t already Christ’s. Almost. Every. Kind. I mean it. Some persons looked hard on the outside but happened to have sweet personalities. For some, it was the other way round. Perhaps, I met them on the wrong days, but here’s my point- it became easy for me to make friends. Nevertheless, I dreaded the work required to keep a number of them. Hence, I lost them. They lost me. We lost ourselves. Anyways, you get my point.
Relationship ought to be spelled W-O-R-K! I mean – it is demanding. Your time, your sweat, your words, your personal space, your money. It might even require your tears. In other words, you must be presently present to make a relationship work, if that makes some sense. As long as the subject of relationship is brought up, be sure that the topic of love looms around the corner. Truth is – love is fundamental for relationships to thrive, be it brotherly, agape or romantic love (which based on God’s Word should result in physical consummation only in marriage). Still, that is not my area of focus today. Besides being affectionate towards the receiving party and getting loved in return (our actions validate our love), the importance of unity of direction and priorities in any relationship can never be overemphasized.
UNITY OF DIRECTION
“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Amos 3:3 [NLT]
You and I know the answer to the above question is NO. If there is no unity of direction in any relationship, at least one party will suffer. Suppressed feelings, suppressed dreams, and broken standards are just a few bi-products of disunity of direction. Are you currently experiencing the aforementioned? These sufferings can be avoided. Do not compromise your direction especially when it is God’s standard. Suppressing your God-given dreams for the sake of making a friendship, courtship or any form of partnership work is so not worth it. May I ask someone – before you sealed the business deal, did you take time to know your partner’s values? How well do you know the one you call mentor/ spiritual parent? Although no human is perfect, as Christians, there is great need to be led by the Holy Spirit. His leading preserves us from being casualties. He saves us from irreparable circumstances. Stick with me as we see the second ideology.
UNITY OF PRIORITIES
When your priorities are not your friend’s business, be careful. When he/she thinks you going to church at least once every week isn’t all that necessary, get set to flee. Friend, I’m not in anyway implying you should think twice about taking your marriage vows because your wife-to-be isn’t big on your favorite sports – no way! Somethings in life can be compromised – times of meetings, approaches to issues, mannerisms, etc., as long as nothing gets in the way of your relationship with God.
Your life is too precious to be careless with your relationships. Prayerfully choose your friends, spouse, mentors, business partners, etc. The result of choosing wrongly can be very frustrating. Talk about sinking SHIPS! May none of your ships sink in Jesus’s Name. Amen. If it so happens that you are currently one of those ships, I am certain that God didn’t get you in there. Nevertheless, my joy is in knowing that God can get you out regardless of how far you have strayed from His will.
ROAD TO RECOVERY
The moment you make a discovery of what you’ve lost and what needs to be retrieved, you are on your way to recovery. Tangible things, for example, phones and documents might get missing in the course of one’s life. Still, there is one thing we must strive never to lose – our fellowship with God. I’ve lost a number of phones and documents in my lifetime (trust me – I’ve learnt my lesson). You might have too. Please, you have my permission to lose things, but I beg you, never lose God’s covering. It’s too costly. You and I can’t afford it. In God, we have all we need and will ever need. God is our number 1 need.
For you to recover from unprofitable relationships, first, you must ask God for forgiveness. Our Heavenly Father is more than willing to clean us up and lead us in the right path, only if we yield to Him. He won’t force us.
Next, you need to separate yourself. Get away from the noise. Get alone with God and His Word. Take at least one day off. Seek God’s face for wisdom on what exactly you need to do concerning the relationship(s). You can’t be engrossed in noise and clearly hear God’s voice. Be sensitive to His Spirit. God is more eager to lead you than you are to follow His leading. So what’s the delay for?
Finally, implement the wisdom of God. Do not let it remain mere plans. It must result in your wise actions. You’ve heartily sought God’s face for wisdom. Now, use it. The wisdom of God is pure, peaceful, gentle, and patient (James 3:17). God will lead you to start the good fight of faith, not a physical combat. He will lead you by the path of righteousness, so as long as you remain His sheep.
NOW, WHAT'S NEXT?
Start sailing your ships to their God-ordained destination, Captain! Your sinking days are over. Can I guarantee you there won’t be hitches on the way to your destination? Absolutely not. Should that stop you from prayerfully choosing your ships? Not one bit! One thing I can assure you is this – the one who holds on to God through this journey called life will never be ashamed. Dear One, let God remain your anchor. Your ship will never sink.
I’m eager to read your testimonies about your ships. Leave them in the comment section below or send me an email. I’ll be more than glad to send you a response. And just in case you haven’t already, do well to subscribe. DSB isn’t just a blog. It’s a fast growing God-centered family. Keep being unapologetically God’s. Till I write to you next time.
With Selfless Love,
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